Failing Up: HNG Edition
“I went through the 5 stages of grief…”
Last year, I signed up to a product design internship with no idea what to expect, but hoping for the best regardless. The internship was essentially a bootcamp with no training whatsoever, only Hunger Games-style tasks to push the skill and endurance of interns through 10 competitive stages. It was extremely fast-paced and required a lot of time and attention. Unfortunately, I did not make it past Stage 3 of the design track as my task submission did not meet the cutoff grade.
I had enrolled for both Product Design and Video Marketing, so I grudgingly passed two more stages of the latter until my lack of genuine interest caused me to once again fail the task in Stage 5. I went through the 5 stages of grief, trying my best to process what had just happened. Underneath all my emotions though, there was an undeniable rush that I had never quite felt before.
Despite failing Stage 3 and being subsequently flooded with self-doubt, I had thoroughly enjoyed myself somehow. I had made no significant or lasting friendships, however there had been something inspirational in the way that thousands of interns jostled desperately on Slack, each trying to make sense of what was happening and figure out a way to stand out. I knew then that I would be back.
And so it was that I re-enrolled this year, lured by the special pull of HNG Internship. I am faced with self-doubt, wondering if I have grown enough as a designer to survive this cohort, yet here I am, happy that it is about to begin.
When I first began to learn UX design, my pace was slow and health and financial challenges often made me feel like I was making no forward movement at all. At some point, I took a few courses and applied to A LOT of design jobs and began to get call backs, emails with take-home design briefs and even interviews. Amidst all the ghostings and rejections, I remained hopeful. However after a while, the silence weighed heavily on me. Coupled with my failure to find a design community/collaboration that worked for me, my morale grew dimmer with each passing day and I drastically reduced my rate of applying for design jobs.
Sometimes, however, there is a call within one’s spirit that does not give up and it is this voice that urged me to try HNG again, keep practicing and take some time to polish my skill. As I go into HNG11, I am optimistic that I will make connections that count, move outside my comfort zone, build up my confidence (and my portfolio) and above all else, have fun. My biggest expectation from this cohort is that I will have a good time and rediscover why I was drawn to UX design in the first place.
Even though HNG officially starts on July 1st, we are already being invited to Stage 0 and have been given warm-up tasks to help us get acclimatized to the ecosystem. For my Stage 0 task, I have made an infographic showing my goals for the next two years. You can view it here.
I don’t know how far I will go this time around, but I do know that HNG is definitely worth every ounce of effort I am prepared to put in. I will be a better designer and a few steps closer to my career goals after the experience. Cheers to HNG, and cheers to my second chance.
